We saw TRON: Legacy. My eight year-old daughter wrote this review of the film, which she suggested would be appropriate for blogging.

If you haven’t seen Tron Legacy yet please for your own good don’t go see it. Because if you did then you would almost definitely die of boredom. I guess if you like to sit and watch Boom! Boom! Boom! for two hours you can go see it. But my opinion is that a Dora the Explorer movie would be more interesting. The only part I liked was when they played “Separate Ways” by Journey.

Another dumb thing is that he was like 12 in 1989 and then he was supposedly 27 nowadays. I hope you get the picture, because all that you’ve read so far means that this movie is worse than Dora.

Now if you’ve already seen the movie and don’t agree with me, then you probably have really bad taste. I mean, I told my mom it was ridiculous and she didn’t disagree. By the end of it me and my mom both agreed that we should have bailed and gone to see Tangled instead.

Now I have to go because I scratched my ear with my pencil (by accident) and I think I got eraser in my eye. So see ya. (Or not.)

published December 30, 2010


  1. Ben Abraham

    She’s not wrong, y’know.

  2. Simon UK

    A great review. I wish I had read it before I saw the film this afternoon. I agree that Dora would have been much better.

    Kep up the reviews. Excellent!


  3. Robert Jackson

    Best film review I’ve read all year – infinitely more enjoyable to read than anything on Rotten Tomatoes.

  4. Suzanne in ABQ

    I love the review, and will definitely not pay to see Tron.

    Tangled, I must say, is much more worthwhile!

    Dora, well, I don’t have much to say about her, except that I’m glad my 5yodd is getting over her.

  5. Jason Scott

    But I want to see Boom! Boom! Boom! for two hours.

    Ask your kid what she thinks of GET LAMP, a film her own father is in. There’s a calibrator for you.

  6. Krystian Majewski

    This is a excellent review. Probably better than the movie. I must admit I will probably watch it anyway just because like Jason Scott, I am cautiously optimistic about being exposed to Boom! Boom! Boom! for two hours. But thanks to the review, I’m not expecting anything better than Tangled… which I think would have been unlikely anyway.

  7. Debra in TX

    Steve Perry FTW! Flannery rocks!

  8. Anonymous

    This review shouldn’t even be read by anyone. It’s completely biased coming from an 8 year old girl, which was obviously not the target audience for the film. I would honestly expect most 8 year old girls to dislike TRON Legacy, but I also wouldn’t expect many 8 year olds in the theater at all. Go see Tangled or Yogi, a kids movie. Not TRON Legacy, which was easily one of the best films of 2010. Has this 8 year old even seen the first one? Does she know about technology at all? Computers? Programs? Or would she rather play with friends, or with stuffed animals? If she doesn’t even like tech, then why would one expect her to like TRON? The movie was extremely rich in digital graphics and had a great storyline dealing with enemies, emotions, new life forms, etc. That acting was not bad at all, and don’t forget the absolutely outstanding Daft Punk soundtrack. Anyone who tells other people not to go see a movie is being completely biased. You do not know how someone else would like (or dislike) a movie. I say go and see it! If you have some interest, it’s worth seeing. If you’re not interested from the beginning, then don’t go. But don’t make your final judgement on silly biased reviews from 8 year old girls.

  9. kr15t3a

    you need to learn her ’bout daft punk.

    (however, totally adorable post.)

  10. WMonroe

    The “pro-Tron” comment above is priceless.

    Though seriously. Daft Punk. Seriously.

  11. Ian Bogost

    Apparently Daft Punk doesn’t hold a candle to Journey.

  12. Bug

    First off I never base going to see a movie on what others say as we are all looking for something different in a movie. I especially would not base me seeing TRON Legacy on a review by an 8 yo girl that should have been taken to see Tangled in the first place. That being said I have seen both Tangled and TRON Legacy. I saw TRON Legacy for the second time today and would gladly go see it again I loved it. The graphics are simply stunning and I found my self saying several times how did they do that. I come from the era of the original TRON and saw this one with my 18 yo old son who also was blown away by it. See it for yourself and decide for yourself and not off of what a little kid says…

  13. Ian Bogost

    OMG the Internet is so insane!

  14. Eric Marcoullier

    [Cover you daughter’s eyes, Ian.]

    It’s anonymous comments like these that make me long for a mutant power that solely consists of long-distance wang-punching. Is that too much to ask for?

  15. Ian Bogost

    Kotaku linked to this review, prompting this hilarious comment

  16. myeck

    I just hope the parents had the decency to show her the original TRON movie first, because throwing an 8-year-old into the sequel is just weird.

    When my son was in high school, a classmate came over and they watched TRON together. His friend’s review: “It was good…but not AVANT.”

  17. Joshua Falken

    I must admit I agree with the young lady’s sentiment that it’s a waste of a movie. The wonderful possibilities in making a sequel to the 1984 Tron were successfully avoided by the writers. They may have consulted with some advisers of average computer savvy (sure let’s put some unix shell on the screen in a couple of scenes for geek cred), but in constructing the plot, they failed to realise that computer programs exist to do work (seriously, a bar/club for computer programs?) A non-networked computer sitting in the basement of an abandoned arcade, that isn’t keeping track of balance sheets, inventory or serving up a website, yet has thousands upon thousands of programs, eating up memory and cpu time? I had to turn my suspension-of-belief knob way up past 150. By honest mistake, I brought my 2 year old son to see the 3D IMAX screening and he started crying before the first disc battle ended (probably because of all the Boom! Boom! Boom!) I went back with an adult friend of mine, totally unaware of the poor plot. Truth be told, I’ll be looking for this on Netflix in a few months, just to see cutie Olivia Wilde in that skin tight outfit.

  18. Jason Mittell

    Ian – you’ve come upon a new conundrum for 21st century parenting: do you tell your 8-year-old that she’s being trolled?

    Looking forward to her take on Little Fockers!

  19. Ian Bogost


    I know, I’ve been pondering that question exactly. “My First Trolling” would be a great kid’s book, one for today’s age.

  20. Yuri

    watch out, she has the potential to take your job

  21. AJ Farkas

    Priceless. I think your 8yo and Anon should team up to write movie reviews, good cop/bad cop style. I love the interwebs for its users who voluntarily play the straight man. Wow.

  22. Lisa May

    Last Christmas my husband and 8 year old niece got in an immaturity battle with “no”/”Yes” and “I know you are…” AND my husband won.

    Anon’s post reminded me of that sad, sad moment.

  23. Lilac Sunday

    I thoroughly enjoyed the candid review, can’t wait to see her review of “Tangled” and the hilariously bitter anonymous comments it will inspire.

    Congratulations young lady, you’ve earned yourself an audience.

  24. Ugh

    Please just shut up. You are an idiot.

  25. Samuel Batista

    I know you’re a young child, but deliberately trying to force your opinion, and marginalize those that disagree with you is completely and totally not cool.

    You are not cool for me, I actually really liked the movie, and having people tell me I have bad taste instead of acknowledging that I have “different” tastes, is sucky.

    You’re an 8 year old girl though, we won’t hate you… for too long…

  26. Steve

    I’m sorry, but if someone doesn’t agree with you, they don’t have bad taste, they have a different perspective. Taste is an subjective metric, not absolute. The kind of people who make statements like that are less subjectively boorish and stupid.

  27. Ian Bogost


  28. Ben

    What a poor review. I bet you just said your daughter wrote it to defend yourself from criticism. You didn’t have one reason for hating it. I bet you haven’t even seen the movie, because it definitely isn’t “Boom! Boom! Boom! for two hours”.

    What a hack. “A Slow Year” was worse than TRON, and you charged more for it.

  29. Leigh

    Oh my god. It’s an 8 year old.

    I hope you negative commenters are all 12-15 because it’s the only way to excuse this reaction.

  30. Ian Bogost

    The INTERNET! It’s the FUTURE!

  31. Mike Acton

    Ian, to your daughter: Your opinion matters as much as anyone else’s. You’ve shared what you think with all of us and that’s wonderful. You shouldn’t ever stop that. Some people are going to be mean and say stupid and hateful things. Those people aren’t important. They’ll always be in the world, but you don’t have to listen to them. Don’t ever stop sharing! I have to stop writing now because my own daughter is making trouble somewhere else and I need to go watch so I can see if I can catch her saying something funny that I can write on the internet. bye!

  32. Kat Tiki

    What a cutie your daughter is! Good for her for sticking up for her opinion!

    Anyways, my thing is that… Hollywood has the potential to make a GREAT movie sequel (not necessarily Tron, but with any movie), USE that amazing scenery to really create an amazing movie. The problem nowadays is that these Hollywoodians don’t understand character anymore. Or intelligent dialogue.

    Compare Star Wars Episodes 4-6 to 1-3. Not at all the same. Sure, 1-3 had the bigger & better – the flashy scenery, gorgeous effects, etc, but they didn’t have heart. 4-6 has character, depth, growth.

    PS – don’t send your daughter to PolishtheConsole.com. She’s… um… not old enough.


  33. Ryan

    This girl should be allowed to contribute to Rotten Tomatoes. Give her Armand White’s spot.

  34. Danny Miller

    You set up a blog for her Ian (blogspot?) If she likes doing these reviews she can put them up there.

    I did it for my nieces (three of them around your daughters age). Memorable results guarrantied!

  35. sava

    didn’t like tron either.

    should’ve read this review before going, would’ve saved me some money.

    I trust 8 yr olds without question. they have great opinions and great insight. seriously. they are wise beings who should be treated as such.

    that is all.

  36. Mark N.

    “A Slow Year was worse than TRON, and you charged more for it” is the best jerkish comment in this thread so far.

  37. Rachel Blum

    I wish more reviews were like that. I’d love to hear her thoughts on the next movie you guys go see!

  38. negroponte rabit

    “Boom, Boom, Boom” is exactly how everyone I know felt about the sequel, which is a better hit ratio half the critics on RottenTomatoes. You may have a future Kael or Ebert here.

  39. Carrie

    WTG, dear F! You so need to meet my eight year old. I suspect that together you would rule the world – and more of us would be grinning. :o)

  40. Kirk

    I loved every word of this review. Especially the last five.

    “So see ya. (Or not.)”

    Indeed, child. Indeed.

    In conclusion, I give this review four stars out of four possible stars.

  41. lisa

    My dog totally hated it.

  42. Gustav

    I would be very interested in a Blade Runner Review by your Daughter. Although there might be a violence problem there… 🙁

  43. Insert Name

    I really enjoyed it and it lead me to watch the original Tron. I finally understood a lot instead of being confused in the beginning although my best friend said she hated it as well and that made me feel disappointed in her like I feel disappointed in you too. I guess it is common for dogs to have the same opinion because she loves dora as well. 🙂

    Female, dog… hahaha get it??

  44. Insert Name

    First off you’re 8, but you’re a girl none the less.

    Get used to watching movies like these now… because in the future you’ll be in the kitchen.

    By the way, since you’re an 8 year old girl.

    Your opinion doesn’t count, so kindly, stfu.

  45. Sport

    No, (5:03), I don’t get it. I’m a male dog- a hound, not a b*tch.

    Also what does Insert Name mean? What good does Inserting a Name do? You can’t get any puppies like that.

    Unless that’s your actual name. If so you should try something more normal, like Spot or Princess or Fido or Napoleon or Marie Antoinette.

    The Internet is too weird. I’m not going to get on here anymore. Life was better when I used to just lie around in my spare time, & go for walks & sniff around & sh*t. People talk too much. And they watch way too many stupid movies.

  46. Playniac

    Nice review. Was wondering if your daughter knows when DORA: Legacy 3D is coming out? (Perhaps with a bit of help on her Dad’s computer she’ll have a go at making it?)

  47. young

    I like pokemon movies.

  48. Mandarin

    I saw Tron: Legacy and I totally agree. I was so bored that after 1 hour watching I went to IMDB to see how long is the movie and started checking the clock every 10 minutes. But I could not leave because I was with 4 more friends.

    P.S. Can I borrow your daughter? Or maybe you are selling her?

    P.S.S. I’m not perv :D, I’m 26 years old male, living with a girlfriend.

  49. Anonymous

    Epic troll is epic.

  50. Ernest Adams

    Long-distance wang-punching is without doubt the most awesome idea ever to be proposed on the Internet, and I say that as the potential recipient of several wang-punches myself.

    I don’t doubt that your daughter is right. Actually, the first Tron pretty much sucked too.

    Attention fanbois: you will die as virgins.

  51. Dave Mark

    It is truly fascinating how seriously people take themselves. And others. A great example of this is the juxtoposition of:

    “Don’t see a movie based off of what someone says on the internet” with “read what I have to say about it.”

  52. Some Guy

    This is a fake review.

    Your 8 year old daughter could not instantly know the name of a Journey song that me, a 30 year old man, had trouble recalling.

    But nice job trying to troll the internet, jackass.

  53. Ian Bogost

    Since it has come up a few times, I can assure all readers that my daughter did indeed write this (I have the original loose-leaf page), and that she knows her Journey.

    Some Guy, I pity you if you can’t recall the name of one of Journey’s best songs ever.

  54. Ian

    Amusing review, whether it’s from your daughter or not (Some Guy does have a point about the strangely accurate Journey reference). However, as a given, I doubt any eight year old girls would have enjoyed Tron very much at all to begin with. The boomy parts were stylistically amazing and the aesthetics and soundtrack were incredible. I might also tell anyone else (who isn’t a little kid) complaining about plot holes in a sci-fi action flick where digital lifeforms evolve in a computer world to get over themselves. I liked it but then again, I’m not eight.

    As cute as an irreverent child can be, fostering this sort of behavior wouldn’t be something I would do. And anyone who doesn’t agree with me has really bad parenting skills. And taste.

  55. OH HAI

    Fiction, lol?

    Amusing review, I did like the link it spawned to the comment on Kotaku. My opinion differs. The internet just makes people angry at each other.

    People should just get over it, someone has a different opinion, this is good, it means you can discuss things, not argue blindly.

    I enjoyed it, but that’s because I’m a sci-fi fan, and a big fan of the original movie, have at me!

  56. William Huber

    This entire thread is why Hans Gadamer emigrated to Alpha Centauri.

  57. Hodoken

    8 year old girl review? lol hahahaha, wtf know a 8 years old girl?

    of course that she prefers Dora the Explorer,lazy town too. The film was not made for a 8 years old girl. Was made for retrogeeks and people who spend that age of evolution of video games.

  58. Hodoken

    …and yes i agree with some guy, Ian u are a jackass.

  59. Noname

    I don’t understand why everyone complains about the story. For goodness sake, they enter a virtual world where programs attend coliseum events and go to nightclubs for entertainment.


    Even then, they touched on pretty deep themes such as Flynn, truly creating a new universe as evident through the emergence of life.

    Sure the human characters were quite stiff but again, we should remind ourselves the fact that a sequel was made to a movie thats over 20 years old to begin with.

    Although both flasy movies, Transformers 2, this isn’t. And we should stop treating it as such.

  60. John Sparrow

    Please make your daughter’s reviews a regular segment on the blog!

  61. Will Hentz

    Oh come on flan It was an awesome movie so much action.