We are soon entering our 6th month online, and I want to take a moment to ask you for your help in continuing our mission. Cow Clicker is facing new challenges and encountering new opportunities and both are going to require major funds.
Cow Clicker is based on a very radical idea, the realization of the dreams most of us have always had for what Facebook can and should become. Thousands of people, all over the world, from all cultures, working together in harmony to freely click on cows every six hours (or even more often)… a simple and pure desire to make the world a place with more cow clicking.
This is a radical strike at the heart of an increasingly shallow, proprietary and anti-intellectual culture. It is a radical strike at the assumption that Facebook has to be a place of mindless clicking. Furthermore, it is also a radical bolstering of the assumption that Facebook has to be a place of mindless clicking.
The result so far has been wild success. Thanks to the wonderful clickers who have clicked on this vast virtual ranch, we are now one of the top 30 social games in which you click on a cow as the sole form of gameplay in the world. In truth, I lament that so many of you click cows so often, even if your numbers dwindle by the day. Yet, in spite of the trauma caused by your continued clicking, I can’t help but smile in defeat at how elegantly you have overcome the cud I have ejected upon you.
But a problem remains. I was led to believe that social games on Facebook were also sure things, money-printing machines that make piles of riches for their asshole creators, creators who demonstrate as little or less care for craft and experience as I have tried to do. Yet, where’s my fleet of holstein-spotted Teslas? Where’s my new sub-basement with walk-in freezers for endless sides of Kobe? Where’s my closetful of bespoke calf leather suits? Damn you all, you cheapskate bastards.
The pressures on me increase daily, pressures of server somethingorothers, of roboclickers, of unrelenting demands for Cowthulhu. In order for Cow Clicker to move forward, I need the help of ordinary clickers like you, people who share in my dream of a cow to click for every single person on the planet, and of a steaming pile of shit-warm cash money in my pocket.
We’re already taking back Facebook. With your help, I can also make a fortune while we do it.
Please consider foolishly spending real, hard currency on Cow Clicker.